Three years ago, I frequently worked 10 to 16 hour days. Sometimes, I worked over the weekend while I was getting the laundry done and planning next week's meals. I had a pretty demanding job managing a team and a department of a multi-million dollar business. Each decision I made had an impact not only on the organization's financial health, but also on the well-being of the individuals of my team. I stressed over their stress levels. I worried about getting the groceries done on time on my way home from work to make dinner...and to remember to put the clothes in the dryer so they don't stink up overnight. To top it all off, family drama and its emotional burden is always just around the corner.
I don't do any of those things anymore by developing effective methods to stop the stress in its tracks.
At the time, I felt motivated to PERSONALLY meet a high performance standard in my career, at home, with my friends and family. I thought I needed to be emotionally there for everyone... all the time. I forgot to do that for myself.
I recently found that I am not alone experiencing the burden of juggling and balancing all the aspects of my life so carefully that the slightest slip might cause an avalanche of stressors.
In a recent American Psychology Association study published in October 2023, they found that "women continue to report a higher stress levels than men and could have used more support. Women reported a higher average level of stress than men (5.3 vs 4.8 out of 10) and were more likely to rate their stress levels between an 8 and 10 than men (27% vs 21%)."
As much as I was relieved to discover that many others share the same stressors with me, it still didn't alleviate the most common symptoms of fatigue, weight gain, digestive stress, inability to fall asleep and low chronic anxiety.
In my journey, I've discovered the ONE thing that is USELESS in the face of stress: worrying.
When we worry, we are actually creating a vicious cycle. It is typically referred to as an obsessive negative thought. It is frequent, and compounds all other negative thoughts to rinse and repeat until you are paralyzed by your own thoughts! So how do we stop?
The most effective 3 steps to STOP the negative thoughts in its tracKs are:
Write it down
Prioritize to delegate
Take action
When I write it down, that exercise enables my prefrontal cortex to take back command of my brain and articulate the worries properly in a much more accurate way. Once that is done, I can proceed to prioritize based on the level of urgency and delegate where possible. Not every item on that list needs to be done by me. People in my support system can help, and perhaps do better than if I tackled it all on my own. Finally, I MUST take action. By physically doing something, it allows my body to close the stress cycle, lower the cortisol levels and come back to a neutral state.
Once my mind is back on track, I can focus on the preventative measures to minimize future outbursts of stress. The 5 methods that work best for me are:
Understanding the ebb and flow of my cycle and how it affects my mood
Keeping a highly nutritious diet of whole foods based on the time of the month
Exercise daily in a way that lowers my cortisol instead of elevating it
Knowing and utilizing my personal support system
Treat myself with kindness the way I would a close friend
After living through these cycles multiple times in the last few years, I can help you work on a stress management plan to get your holistic health back on track. If you're interested to dive deeper into any of the methods above, or need support to manage your stress more effectively, send me an email at yaya@livemoss.ca.